Welcome to my Boat

One of my best friends, Amanda, and I somehow end up having deep discussions about life in the car. No, not while we are driving together, but parked in a parking lot somewhere. These conversations always take place late at night. We are convinced that we will not only solve all of our own problems, but at some point the world’s problems too. The solution for world hunger will come out of one our late night car talks, mark my words.

It was in one of these talks that a phrase popped into my mind, “you cannot invite someone into your lifeboat, in hopes of saving them, if your lifeboat is full of holes.” Let me expand upon this idea a little more for you. Watching someone struggle with sin, addiction, or just life can be hard. It is common when you see someone struggling that you want to “save them,” especially, if you care about this person. I am someone who feels empathy deeply so it is really hard from me to not be able to fix everyone. However, if you are struggling with sin yourself and you are trying to pull someone out of sin the chances are you will both end up “sinking” into sin.

The Bible talks about this in Proverbs 12:26 “The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray.” (NLT) Most of the time this verse is used to convey the importance of having godly friends. But it can also emphasis that it should be necessary that we check ourselves before giving advice, so that we do not lead someone astray.  I do not ever want my sin to be a hazard of to someone else.

Set my heart on You. Give me tunnel vision for only You. Keep me from evil and help me not to cause others to fall because of me.

Thoughts in My Head

I make mistakes. I make bad choices. I do wrong. I sin. I look squarely into the face of the one I love and chose to hurt Him. His love is what makes my sin so awful. Because he loved me, he died for me, and I chose to throw it in His face and sin.

I am so sorry. I understand now why You put that in Your word. I want to be holy. I want to be Yours. But I fail. I made a mistake. Then I got scared. But You were still there even when I felt alone. For Your love removes all the fear I have and replaced it with peace. You made everything ok.

I have never once come to God and he has rejected me. His church has at times and His people, but never Him. His love is always there no matter what I do. I think that is what makes sin so easy, it is the knowledge that He is always going to be there. But at the same time it is a comfort to know I can always come to Him. In 1 John 4:17-18 it says,

“God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we’re free of worry on Judgment Day—our standing in the world is identical with Christ’s. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love. (MSG)”

Why is this important? Because even though I sin and make awful horrible mistakes I have no fear. I have no fear because He loves me. I know I will have to come to Him and ask for his forgiveness, but I know it will always be there. I have no fear of this world, of the harm Satan tries to bring to me, or of any life situation. I do not have to fear anything, ever for I am loved.

Glitter and Guilt

I love love love glitter. I am currently wearing glitter eye shadow. There is one bad thing to all its sparkly wonder. It gets everywhere. I find it on the weirdest things. My beds, my clothes, even my poor little dog will “catch” the glitter disease from me. It covers anything it touches for about the next six months.

That is how my guilt feels. It gets on everything. It covers my heart. I know logically that as a human I am incapable of being perfectly sinless. Yet, I still feel guilty when sin. If I am incapable of living without sin and God knows I am going to sin anyway should I be less hard on myself? If I am not careful I will relax and let sin creep into my life. Where is the balance?

There are some things I think are wrong and are probably sin however, I am unsure. If I don’t feel guilt over these actions then are they sin? I have more questions than answers.   


Justification and Just Desserts

I am a yo-yo dieter. Up and down. Any diet under the sun. Low cal, low carb, vegetarian, I have tried most of them. My down fall is I am really good at mentally justifying why I should cheat on my diet. For example, I worked out today therefore it is just fine for me to have cake, or if I only have a little it will not hurt. The next day its hello two pounds.

 I realized on my way into work this morning I treat my spiritual life the same way. I will “taste” a sin cause a little won’t hurt right? But spiritual weight gain can be a lot harder to lose then the most stubborn physical weight. If sin becomes a habit, it is like a permanent weight gain, it will drag you down till you quite trying all together. When that occurs in your life, you wake up one day with no spiritual life and a major “gain.”

The only way to break a habit is to stop doing it. While it’s hard when you are back in “fighting” shape you will be glad you did. Prayer is your spiritual excises. Seek God always. I am purging the sin in my life. It is not easy. I fail often but I don’t ever want to find myself away from God again.  Lord give me strength to remove sin in my life.