So I came across this song by accident. (To Listen Click Here) I was looking for another one with the same title and this one played. It was a moment from God. I let it play not really paying attention. Then it got to the third line and it began to speak to me. In this season in my life there is a lot of heartache and pain. And it seems to drag on and on. I find myself asking the question in the chorus, “Why does it hurt if You love me?”
“Good Christians” aren’t supposed to question God. But why not? He is big enough to handle my questions. Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Logically, I know that my chaos is working for his purpose. But right now it hurts. I allowed all my pain to make me passive towards God. I think part of the purpose of the pain of life is self discover. It is easy to serve God when things go right and even if they go wrong for a short time. Living in a place of brokenness for years it allows you to be blind to nothing but hurt.
So instead of saying, “Why does it hurt? If You love me?” I want my heart to say, “Right now it hurts. But You love me.” I am going to ask God my questions. I am going to tell Him about the hurt. What I am learning is that I don’t need the answers or the hurt gone I just need to allow myself to be surrounded by His love.
It amazes me how personal You are becoming. Your love is all I need. So let whatever happens happen cause I know you love me. So what if it hurts? You love me. What matters is I am not alone when I cry out to you. Your there, You know it hurts. But we will get through this. I love you.