It is really easy for me to see why people turn from God. People, claiming to be following the spirit, frequently maliciously inflict pain on those around them.

If it hurts someone is it of God?
If it breaks their spirit is it of God?
If it chases them away instead of drawing them to Him is it of God?

It is easy to use the pain that “God’s people” deliver as an excuse to turn your back on Him. But we must life our eyes from the people of the world to only see Him. In Him we find love and not condemnation. We know that pain is a temporary state and that in Him we are perfection.

The greatest love story ever.

As someone as obsessed with Disney as I am it would be easy for you to assume that some fairy tale is what I would call the greatest love story. But you would be wrong. The story of the prophet Hosea is one that truly shakes me to my core. In Hosea chapter 1 verse 2 it says, “The first time God spoke to Hosea he said: ‘Find a whore and marry her. Make this whore the mother of your children.”’ Kinda shocking for Sunday school right?
So Hoses does what God tells him and marries and has children with a prostitute. Gomer (that was the name of the prostitute. What a lovely name for a girl!) keep returning to her life of how shall we say “extracurricular activities”. Time after time Hosea went back to the seedy part of town to get his harlot wife Gomer, and bring her back home. In my mind I see her as a prostitute boomerang. Ever time he brought her home back she would go.
It is really easy to wonder why on earth someone would love a hooker, who even when removed from evil, keep going back. Take a moment and think about the last time you sinned. I don’t know about you but I sin a lot. A. LOT. I keep going back to evil.
But here is the truly amazing thing. God always comes after me like Hoses. Always. He still loves me with a fierce passion. He will always find me in the darkest of places and bring me home.  Happy Valentines day.
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,  neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39

Conversations with God

Why do I do this?
You don’t let me love every part of you. You let others make you feel bad so you look from me and to them for love.

I know I do. I  am sorry. I don’t know how to let You love me. I don’t know how to be whole in You. I don’t know how to just be with You.
Trust me. Let me in. Let me into the hurt and mess and all of it. I already know its there and I know why it is there. I know where your hurts come from. Its ok. I created you and I knew you would be a messy, broken person. But in that mess you would come to me, and let me restore and make you whole.

But I do so much wrong. You don’t know how bad I am!
I do know. I know it all. All the secrets.  But nothing will ever separate you from me. I will always come for you! Always! Pain doesn’t last! I last! I am eternal.

I don’t know how you do it or why but I know You love me. I love you with all my heart.

Thoughts in My Head

I make mistakes. I make bad choices. I do wrong. I sin. I look squarely into the face of the one I love and chose to hurt Him. His love is what makes my sin so awful. Because he loved me, he died for me, and I chose to throw it in His face and sin.

I am so sorry. I understand now why You put that in Your word. I want to be holy. I want to be Yours. But I fail. I made a mistake. Then I got scared. But You were still there even when I felt alone. For Your love removes all the fear I have and replaced it with peace. You made everything ok.

I have never once come to God and he has rejected me. His church has at times and His people, but never Him. His love is always there no matter what I do. I think that is what makes sin so easy, it is the knowledge that He is always going to be there. But at the same time it is a comfort to know I can always come to Him. In 1 John 4:17-18 it says,

“God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we’re free of worry on Judgment Day—our standing in the world is identical with Christ’s. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love. (MSG)”

Why is this important? Because even though I sin and make awful horrible mistakes I have no fear. I have no fear because He loves me. I know I will have to come to Him and ask for his forgiveness, but I know it will always be there. I have no fear of this world, of the harm Satan tries to bring to me, or of any life situation. I do not have to fear anything, ever for I am loved.


Tonight I received a text on my way home from work. It was simple. It only said three words. I love you. Now this person who sent it and I had not spoken with each other in about a month and our conversations where tense at best due to some life choices I don’t agree with. However, without any hesitation I replied I “I love you more.”

I have never been “in love.”  Yet, there are a few people that I love desperately. My heart aches for them. I want with all that I am to make sure they are happy, well, and taken care of. 1 Corinthians 13 is often called the love chapter because it describes what love is. I imagine that up until this point ancient people had no real understanding of this thing they felt or what it was called. Or what it meant God was saying to them.

love is patent– I will wait for you to see who I am and how much I care for you.

love is kind-I will do what is best for you even though it may be hard for me.

it does not envy– I am happy for you even when it hurts me

it does not boast– I know what is best but I won’t tell you I told you so.

it is not proud–  I know I am a right but I care more to have you in my life then to have my pride.

It does not dishonor others– I know your secrets but that will stay secrets.

it is not self-seeking– Your needs before mine even if it means giving up my Son.

it is not easily angered– you hurt me but I won’t hold it against you.

it keeps no record of wrongs– I know the sins you committee are great but I chose not to see them.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

When I think about these verses as God speaking about our relationship it amazes me. I do so many wrong things. I actively chose sin over God yet, He chooses not to see my shame.  If my love for my friend is only a small bit of God’s love for me who am I to do anything but worship him.