Speaking Voice

I ignore God.

Until I have to sound like a good Christian.

Then I drum something up.

I fail at basic Christian functions.

I never respected those who would try to “preach” to you,

be it from a pulpit or in a conversation,

if they were not living what they were advocating.

Yet, that’s what I do.

If you don’t speak to me, how can you be My voice?

We are called to be His voice in the world.

Everyone is broken. Everyone needs Him. Everyone needs to hear Him.

If I don’t have the words how can I show anyone Him.

I get my words from Him.

But if I don’t actually talk to Him where are they coming from?

Who are they coming from?

I let my busyness and brokenness come in between me and God.

“May God himself, the God who makes everything holy and whole, make you holy and whole, put you together—spirit, soul, and body—and keep you fit for the coming of our Master, Jesus Christ. The One who called you is completely dependable. If he said it, he’ll do it!” 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24


Saturday on January 3, 2015 I turned 22. I was not excited about it at all. Why? Because I feel like I am in the middle of the ocean. I can’t see the land I left and I certainly cannot see the land I am heading to at all. This would be the part of the journey were sailors would start going insane. It is rather scary.

So here is the deal. I don’t know anything. I have no idea where the rest of my life is going. I am just out here in the ocean. All I have is people who love me and a promise.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

Trust is hard. Really hard. Luckily, I am not the captain on this ship. I am just a passenger. I do not have to know where the ship is going or how to get there. I just need to enjoy the ride. It’s hard, but that is what you sign up for when you allow Christ to be your captain.

I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 22.


My mom has this cruel practice of buying gifts when we say we like something and not allowing us to have it till the actual holiday. This was the case of several of my presents this year and the one that drove me most crazy was a stuffed animal. When my family was at Disney this past thanksgiving I saw a stuffed Stitch (as in Lilo and Stitch) that I fell in love with. Not just any stuffed Stitch, but a giant one, the size of a small toddler. I have a collection of stuffed Stitchs and naturally an abnormally large one need to be a part of it. But my mom wouldn’t even let me carry it and I had to suffer through November and December before finally getting my Stitch.


So why Stitch? Why a collection of him? That’s a good question. One I had no answer to for a while. I have in a previous post discussed my connection with the movie Lilo and Stitch and in my mind just attributed my love of Stitch to that. But then it clicked in my mind. I am just like Stitch. Let me elaborate.

He is an alien.
When Lilo goes to look for a dog Stitch tries to hide his extra set of arms and the things coming out of his head. He knows those are qualities others would call weird or bad, so he holds them not allowing others to see who he really is.

He is bad.
At the beginning of the movie he is just bad, and bad for the sake of being bad. That is how he was made. To be bad and do wrong is in his nature. He tries very hard to be a model citizen but, sometimes it doesn’t work out.

I hide who I am because I know sometimes others will not accept my weirdness. It is human nature to sin. Therefore, it is in my nature to be bad. Stitch didn’t know he wanted a family or to be a part of something. He didn’t even know he wanted to stop being bad. Lilo had to come find him. She had to accept him, show him how to love, and that being a part of family mattered. So we (you and I) are Stitch. Don’t see it? I’ll show you.

Thousands of years ago a man came from heaven to earth to find you. You didn’t even know you were lost. It is in your nature to sin, to be bad, to create hurt, and to do wrong. He accepted you knowing you were bad and that you may break His heart. He saw all the things others call weird and said that they are what make you special. He will love you no matter what you do and you will be a part of His family.

All the presents have been opened, the Christmas dinner eaten, and I have spent a good part of the day watching Agents of Shield on Netflix. It has been a lovely Christmas. But if it were not for the kindness and love of Jesus I would just be a bad little blue alien.


“For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.” Luke 2:11 KJV

Prayer Journal VII

I am tired. I miss You. I am overwhelmed. I am stressed. I don’t put You first. I sin. I make mistakes. I slip up. I fall and stay laying down. 

  I always seem to find a reason that I am just to busy or stressed for You. I feel pulled in different directions. I feel stress. I need You to refocus me. Help me find You in my daily life, in every moment to see You and seek You.

I pray that You give me the eyes to see those who are hurting this time of year. I pray that You allow me to be sensitive to the needs of those around me.

I am self-centered when I should be God-centered. Open my eyes when I allow sin to creep into my life. I give myself to You so that You can use me to reach others.

I whine that I am overwhelmed  and even when You have the whole world to take care of yet, You still listen to my whining. You make me feel cared about even when I know I am so small. You take the time to hear me and let me know I am heard. I pray that You help me make Your word the permanent resident of the front of my mind. Thank You for hearing me, I love You. 


Today is December 5, 2014. 113 years ago on this day one of the most imporant people in my life was born. Walter Elias Disney was born on December 5, 1901, in Hermosa, Illinois. He changed the world forever. In a way, I feel like Mr. Diseny has had a big influence in my life. He created a place I love, and helped remind people that hope and goodness will always win. His ideas created a company with arugable the best customer service in the world. Although he passed away before I was born Mr. Disney will always remain a guiding light and a sort of fairy godfather to me. He left the world a legacy of hope. But were did his hope come from? While I am not attempting to judge the state of another persons heart I can not help but notice a few simalarities.

walt 1
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34 NIV
walt 2
“If thou faint in the day of adversity, thy strength is small.” Proverbs 24:10 KJV
walt 3
“Honor and enjoy your Creator while you’re still young,
Before the years take their toll and your vigor wanes,” Ecclesiastes 12:1 MSG

walt 6
“The righteous shall move onward and forward; those with pure hearts shall become stronger and stronger.” Job 17:9 TLB

walt 7

“Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might,” Ecclesiastes 9:10a NIV

images (1)
“Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26 NIV

When I look back on the life of Mr. Disney and his legacy it makes me wonder what my legacy will be? Will I be showing others to Chirst in my own way? Will I leave the world with a message of hope? What will your life say?

Windshield Wipers

I hate driving. And I really hate driving in the rain. This week the rain has been pouring. The windshield wipers never seem to go fast enough. Rain distorts my vision of the road ahead and I cannot see where I am going. But still the rain pours down, not caring how hard it is for me to see where I am going.

Then at the last possible second when I cannot see at all, whoosh, there go the wipers. They clear my windshield just long enough for me to see where I need to go. And the test of faith in my windshield wipers comes again as the rain keeps falling and I go back to an unclear vision of the road. I know that logically they will allow me to see just enough so I do not wreck my car and stay on course. But when you are driving down the road and you cannot see up ahead it can be hard to have faith.

In this storm of life we do not know every detail of the road ahead. For people in my time of life this means worrying about a job after graduating, finding the right spouse, and achieving independence. For others it could be cancer, an unexpected divorce, or a job lose or relocation. We have no idea what the future holds. But I have faith that just when I feel truly lost on the road ahead and cannot see my way any more He will reveal His plan for my life bit by bit. You are the driver He is the navigator. He has the map. He knows where all of the turns are. Just focus on the next piece of road in front of you, what you can see. He knows where your destination.


If you were to ask me to describe myself very shortly, into that conversation you would hear the word obsessed used in a sentence with the word Disney. Obsessed is a bit of an understatement. Disney is my passion. I love it way more than a person should. I have very set opinions on just about anything to do with the Walt Disney Corporation. So why am I obsessed with Disney?

Let me take you on a journey for a moment. You are standing in front of Cinderella’s castle.


This is a side view but, it is my favorite picture that i have taken of the castle. You are watching the night sky be filled with a wonder inspiring display of fireworks perfectly timed to this music.The smell of vanilla and baked goods drifts into your senses. For about thirteen minuets you feel like good will always win and all our wishes will come true. Being at Walt Disney World makes it possible to pretend, for a short time, that the world is a happy place and for the most part that everyone is nice and the few bad guys are very easy to spot.

Why do I love Disney? Because Disney gives me a small taste of a world of happiness. I think that is one reason that the Disney company is so successful-because people are longing for a world of happy. For me, Disney is a just a tiny sample of what Heaven is going to be like. No sadness, no bad guys, and no sickness. Everyone will be happy. Disney reminds me that this not my home. That, some day, I will get to spend eternity with a King in perfect happiness.

“For instance, we know that when these bodies of ours are taken down like tents and folded away, they will be replaced by resurrection bodies in heaven—God-made, not handmade—and we’ll never have to relocate our “tents” again. Sometimes we can hardly wait to move—and so we cry out in frustration. Compared to what’s coming, living conditions around here seem like a stopover in an unfurnished shack, and we’re tired of it! We’ve been given a glimpse of the real thing, our true home, our resurrection bodies! The Spirit of God whets our appetite by giving us a taste of what’s ahead. He puts a little of heaven in our hearts so that we’ll never settle for less.” 2 Corinthians 5:1-5 (MSG)